Something I wrote last night, just to get by

Standing behind a crowd, you notice all the colors
Soaked into each individual.
With their hunched backs and pissed off attitude, you're reminded they're no different from your parents.

Walking down a hall of strangers you notice all the pain trapped into each individual.
With their pushes and shoves and their constant complaints, you're reminded that they're no different from your broken scene friends.

Laying below the 97' chevy truck, you begin to study the particular parts and the moon shaped rust.
And now all you can think of is that colorful crowd, and those punk a-- kids, you wonder why you're laying below the 97' chevy truck studying the particular parts and the mood shaped rust.

with the things you do,
and the things i wish,
i've always thought i've had my head in place.
with sweet turns,
and nice curves,
i've always managed.

you're important to me

you're sleeping right now and i want to tell you how important you are to me.
but i'll remain in this spot,
watching you turn,
and slur your words,
and when you wake from your long night dreams,
i'll remind you how important you are to me.

scared

Seeing a man cross your shadow during the late hours on a holiday weekend, is something to be scared about. But seeing a man cross your shadow during the late hours on a holiday weekend, telling you how they truly feel, is natural. Why are you so damn scared?

I want you back home

I want you back home to keep me company
while the cold nights could seem so much warmer.

ughghhasdkl

If I were young again, I'd stay in the sun a little longer.
To let the shine and warmth close me in.

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I will remember this night.
And how my spine remained strong.
These words attacked my twisted nerves,
but however I stay calm.

October 2009

So in 2009...

Dear you,
Id like you to know that all I know to be is myself and to think for that way. And if you can't accept me for who I am, then not much will. I want to experience things that one has not. I want to be happy whether people are or not. I want to feel the wind speak to me through out my body, and that sun to soak my face. And me being satisfied with that shade of pink on my face. And for me to see people walk the streets with satisfaction. And for everyone to not get along, but when they have to, they must. I want each and every to be filled with something they enjoy. And I want kids to believe that their parents do care. And I want grandparents to be grateful for their long life. And I want to visit places that could possibly change mine. And I want that girl and boy to be sincere with one another. And I don't want anymore arguing. I want to remember that song throughout my teenage years. And I just want people to like me. And at the same time, I just want to like them. And if this is all I can give, then so be it.
Love always, Lauren

Well..what IF

If the countdown was right we wouldn't have to rely on the long wait.

There's..

there's you. the typical person who claims they are nothing.
there's she. the average female to feed your every need.
there's he. the one who is on the other side.
and then there's me, the one who has troubles and hide.

sitting in a corner

sitting in a corner you forget what's around you besides that crease in front of your angry eyes.
you're reminded of the walls and the rough texture it provides by keeping it wrapped around your own atmosphere.
but your back begins to ache and you want to move, but you're arrested from your own control.
so you begin to think of your history.
and you begin to feel your misery.
but all you can do now is sit in that corner with your angry eyes.
because you've lost your own control.

Your words are so kind.

"And it's in this time,
in the midst of spring,
that I reflect on our love,
and begin to smile
at this beautiful thing.

And we know not
what our fate may say,
but I ask that you don't
inflict me with solitude's sting,
and instead with you I'll stay.

And it's in this time,
on the eve of May,
that I cherish our now,
and begin to appreciate
our love growing each day.

And we know not
what we're going to do,
but I know that I will
entrust you with promise's pledge,
and spend my life with you."


Thank you sweetheart, I love you.

Trapped Doors And Trapped Minds

I'd rather there be trapped doors than trapped minds.
For every trapped door one can stop and think in time.
But for those with trapped minds, clearly lead ahead not knowing what they'll run into.

It all begins

Daylight begins.
I contain the summer heat.
I bring out the postal cards to write you independently.
I belong in that field.
I belong to something new.
I belong to the summer heat with my postal cards, writing to you.


Children at play, with teenage romance.
I look beyond my eyes to keep this moment.
Midnight comes and the night gets cold.
But I'll remember to wake up in the horizon's gold.

Keep my writings, forever you'll grow.
If we never meet, do know how it all begins.
Daylight comes, but the summer will never end.

No YESTERDAY

There is chalk on the sidewalk.
It spells out "YESTERDAY".
And I concentrate on the word.
With each letter spelled out in light lavender.
I think about my long arguments,
and you think about your long thoughts.
And your thoughts getting caught in my arguments.
I can't help but to look at the long colorful word.

But not for long did it stay.
For when I left I wrote "TODAY".
Because YESTERDAY, is a waste of thought.
When TODAY is all I've got.

I have

I have this secret.
And I don't mind you knowing.
And I don't mind you telling.
But what would it be after you knowing?
But what would it be after you telling?
I guess I'll just keep this secret.
I wouldn't know what else to call it.

My god

Waking up in the morning, as if I was searching for my own breath in a pool of water, I never forget to do my therapy.
It's a quarter past six, and the water is steaming.
It only compresses against the rectangular shaped mirror that I've looked in for over sixteen years.
As I remind myself to do my daily therapy, I breathe in and I breathe out.
Gasping for the air that was wasted into that deep end.

I can't use this "redo" button any longer.
If the button is meant to fall off the coat, then there's no need to replace it.
Just breathing in, and breathing out.
Wiping the residue, I see that this sixteen year old mirror has reflected a lady.
A lady of charm and ignorance.
But there's no need to gasp for so much air any longer.

I've done my therapy, and the reflection has shone all it sees.
I lady of mistakes and fine qualities.
I've done all my breathing, and it was fine at the moment.
But, there's a time in life when you let go of everything.

Me

I can't tell you why I do the things I do.
I wish I knew.
I wish I knew I could tell you why I do the things I do.
But there's no point in explaining myself to you.

My actions are taped to me.
And there's no one else peeling pieces off of me.
And If one wants to try, then tell one to bring their sword.
Because I'm fighting this hard time as if there were war.

I'm just___with____

I'm just living in what seems an endless life. With many struggles and miracles. With a best friend who lives miles away and a sweetheart who remains close from day to night. With a mind who thinks about its' own thoughts. With a set of eyes to see my every life decision.

I never had

I never had something that I could long onto and call it my own.
But why long onto something when eventually everything sets free?

Time In Spring

Things were better when there was two, and
not all the lights were trapped on to you.
The Clock would tick for her daily routine as
you would waste in your misery.
Lying on this bed counting the tiles ahead you had no clue.
You had no clue what wasting time did to you.
If I was yours time would freeze, and it would just be you and I in our memories. We could stop clocks and watch leaves because fall is over and now is spring.

The Taste of Spring

The taste of spring hits your fingers with shades of wind dancing in your peripheral vision.

These kind words

"oh gosh, it is encouraging to come across people like you in this society, honestly. i'm glad your heart isn't black and you're mind is clear. you're an inspiring young lady, believe it."


make me feel incredible, thank you

Empty Room

There's an empty room that remains the same.
The damaged carpet,
fragile window,
and the ceiling blue.

But it was that empty room that I brought you to.
And never did i once hear a thank you.
Giving you a quiet place to let you keep away.
Living like that plane that flew through out the day.
You're gone now and there's nothing more to lack.
So keep it like religion and keep to your back.

Don't you know

that I love you?
If not, knock on your teacher twice.
So they'll teach you a thing or two.

look

girls
are
annoying.
all
they
do
is
spend
money
on
unnecessary
things.
all
they
do
is
cheat
on
either
boy
or
girl
friend(s).
all
they
do
is
blame
their
every
mood
on
their
period.
all
they
do
is
complain
until
they
get
what
they
want.
all
they
do
is
pretend
to
get
drunk
if
they
can't
quick
enough.
all
they
do
is
make
me
look
bad.
like
one
of
them.

thanks
girls.